True Microsoft helpdesk conversations...

True telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the U.K. This is a real good mail I came across. I preserved it for my blog, take a read through each convo., worth it!

-Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
-Customer: A white one...

-Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
-Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
-Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.
-Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note...
-Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it’s still on my desk... sorry.

-Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
-Customer: Your left or my left?


-Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
-Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
-Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...
-Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not BillGates damn it!

-Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try itsays 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it infront of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

-Customer: I have problems printing in red...
-Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
-Customer: No.

-Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma’am?
-Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

-Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
-Customer: It's not working.
-Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
-Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing’s happening.

-Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
-Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
-Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
-Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
-Customer: OKHelpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
-Customer: Yes
-Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
-Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!

-Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capitalletter V as in Victor, the number 7.
-Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

A customer couldn't get on the internet.
-Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
-Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
-Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
-Customer: Five stars.

-Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
-Customer: Netscape.
-Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
-Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

-Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on mycomputer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

-Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
-Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can youplease tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
-Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
-Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?

-Helpdesk: How may I help you?
-Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
-Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
-Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle aroundit ?